There is a joke between my friends that the Slaven kids get sick in November and stay sick until March or April.  This year is proving to be no different and yet it has felt so much worse because they are all old enough to really complain about their infirmities.  Yet, they are still young enough that they feel the need to wake me up at night (my sweet Benjamin) to tell me that they need to go potty.  I have just about had my limit of illness, but my God, who meets all my needs, knows I have so much more to give.  It is at these moments that I cry out to God and beg for His mercy so that in my sleep deprived state I don't say or do the wrong thing to hurt his precious babies.  The amazing thing is that when I do cry out, surrender my will/desires to Him and rest in His strength I make it through the day without feeling like a failure.  The sad thing is that there are many days when I don't surrender to Him and as a result everything falls apart by the time Jonathan gets home from work. On those days,  I bet he takes one step in the house and wishes he could hightail it back to the office or anywhere but here.  Then he quietly takes over and sends me out the door for some quiet time and prayer (maybe I should say sometimes when he is not overwhelmed with work).  I am so blessed to have an understanding husband who is seeking to lead us in a godly direction.

There are blessings in the midst of these illnesses and sometimes I get so bogged down in the surviving that I forget to look for the moments of grace.  One of those moments was when I was having to torture Benjamin and Emily with their eye drops for pink eye.  These eye drops are extremely painful and it is so hard for a little one to understand that what hurts is sometimes good for them.  I was able to talk to Emily and Benjamin about God's great love for us and that there will be times in their lives that God will ask something of them that will be painful, but He sees a much bigger picture than we do.  His desire is to make us Holy and Christlike, not to make us happy.  Sometimes, the tools that God uses to get rid of the yuckies in our hearts are painful just as those eye drops are painful to get rid of the yuckies in their eyes.  I reminded them that if I didn't treat their eyes it would just get worse and they would not be able to see until we used the drops.  I wonder how often God wants to say to me, "Martha, it will hurt for a while, just trust that I know what is best for you."  The beauty is that when I relinquish my desire for ease and seek His face the pain is not that great because He comes along and bears my burdens for me.   His yoke truly is easy and His burden is light, because he caries it all for me - if only I remembered to leave my burdens at His feet.  He is a gracious and loving Father and only desires our best.  What a wonderful place to rest - in the loving arms of my Heavenly Father.

We had another God moment today.  Our van went back to the shop last night to hopefully fix the gas gauge once and for all.  This is the second time it has been in the shop for this problem... please, please let them fix it!  We took it in on Tuesday night so that I would not have to get up and get all the kids ready to leave in the morning in order for it to be at the shop by 8 a.m.  Yeah right!  I know some Mom's can do it, but this one can't... give me 2 cups of coffee and about an hour of awake time before I can navigate my own house!  Ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much.  I did find out from the dealership that we might get our van back tomorrow and then again maybe not... it all depends on if the new gas gauge makes it in on Thursday's shipment.  Thankfully, everything will be covered under warranty.  PTL!

Our God moment - actually our whole morning - was the sacrificial giving of one of the precious ladies in our church, Betty.  She had offered to take me to drop off the van, but since Jonathan and I were able to take it on Tuesday night I called to let her know we would not be needing her services.  In the course of our conversation I told her I was hoping to take Emily back to Children's Mercy Urgent Care to see if there was a reason why she was still acting sick.  She offered to help me out since I would not have transportation.  She had no idea her offer was going to take up her entire morning!  She picked us up at 9 a.m. and braved the hospital waiting room until 12:30 with my three busy children.  The kids did great and even got a number of compliments from the nursing staff and doctor on their behavior (thanks to Biblical training and God at work in their hearts).  After a not so pleasant experience of flushing Benjamin's and Emily's ears with warm water, the doctor announced that yes, Emily still has an ear infection.  Benjamin's are a little irritated, but that may be due to the trauma he just endured to his ear or the onset of another ear infection.  Let's hope and pray it's not getting infected again.  I must say that Benjamin was quite a trooper.  He was so brave while they were trying to pick out the ear wax that it about made me cry.  Emily, on the other hand, was so scared that the nurses had to wrap her in a sheet to keep her still, but once wrapped she quit fighting and just cried like her little heart was going to break.  After all was said and done, our dear friend, Betty, took the kids out for McDonald's to reward them for their bravery.  That was all it took to wipe the last tear from their faces. 

I know I would have survived the Urgent Care experience with all three kids, but I was more thankful than words can express to have someone there to help me.  My Mom is already waiting for me in heaven, and I wouldn't want her anywhere else, but the times I miss her the most are when my babies are sick.  I think those are the only times that I fight the tears over not having Mom around, but God provides for me is such amazing and wonderful ways.  My mother-in-law is one of those wonderful ways that God has provided.  I can truly say, when I married Jonathan I didn't just gain a great husband, but a precious mother.  However, she is an hour away and not always accessible at a moments notice.  It is in those times that my loving, heavenly Father provides precious woman to hold me up and help me through the tough times.  Even in this small thing I can always trust that my Father will always take care of not just my physical needs, but my emotional needs as well.  My heart is safe in the everlasting arms of Jesus and I trust Him with all the most precious gifts He has given me - my husband and children.